“Culture is not something that belongs
purely to the past; it is an integral and inalienable part of what we are today
and will become tomorrow”.
I can
honestly say that this quote by Macdonald (1991) truly summarizes my entire
experience with education, culture and identity. Perhaps I should also confess
that to this day, I continue to grapple with its meaning and reality. But what
is life’s journey without a little struggle and confusion?
Eighteen
years ago, my humble little family of four decided to move from Surabaya and
create a new home in Sydney. At the time, a growing tension and conflict
between the natives and Chinese in Indonesia was advancing over East Java. My
family’s Chinese background made us particularly vulnerable to the violence and
anger from the natives, and so my parents made the difficult decision to flee
our home country and move to Australia.
On my
first day at Wahroonga playgroup, I recollect being introduced to the first
Caucasian person I had ever met. She was an elderly lady helping out at the
center; I can remember her warmth and friendliness to me, even when I did not
understand a single word of English that came out of her mouth. Unfortunately,
when I eventually began to learn the English language, I encountered my first
personal racial attack. After around six months of settling into the playgroup,
I recall coming home crying one day, because a little boy had said to me, “E.T.
knew to go home. You, Chinese should learn to go home as well”. I don’t believe
that at that age I wholly understood the true meaning behind that racial slur,
however it was enough to inform me that to that boy, I was unwanted in this
country because of my race. In hindsight, I realize that perhaps it was through
this event that I started to develop a deep resentment and embarrassment towards
my Asian heritage.
Consequently,
throughout my primary and high school years, I admit that I made a considerable
effort to ‘mix in’ with my Caucasian classmates, and avoid at all costs to be identified
as ‘one of the Asians’. This was not all that challenging as approximately
ninety per cent of my grade comprised of kids of European background.
In
retrospect, it seemed that my efforts to camouflage myself was in fact a focused
desperation to ignore and neglect my Asian culture. In this way, the lack of
solid grounding in my identity ultimately left me feeling misplaced and empty. It
was not until I learnt to accept and recognize my cultural uniqueness that I
attained a sense of self-value and belonging.
The
importance of a accepting one’s identity and thus maintain a consistent self-view
is emphasized by Suh (2002). His work is supported by Maslow (1954), who argues
that one’s identity is established when an individual’s multiple view of themselves
is congruently organized:
“Inner conflicts need to be merged and
coalesced to form unities for the person to self-actualize”.
In
essence, these findings suggests that a consistent sense of identity was a
prerequisite condition of psychological well-being, as persons “had a more
clear self-knowledge, were more assertive, and most notably, had
self-experiences that were less affected by the perspectives of others”.
In
conclusion, it seems that my educational experience has played a considerable
role in my search for identity. I have found truth in Macdonald’s (1991) quote
– my culture not is one that purely belongs to the past, nor can it be an
aspect overlooked within my identity. Accepting it and maintaining a consistent
self-view were the most important steps to discovering who I am today and will
become tomorrow.
References:
Macdonald,
G. (1991) ‘What is culture?’, Journal of
Museum Education, Vol. 16, No.
1, pages 9-12
Maslow, A. (1954) Motivation and personality, New York: Harper &
Brothers.
Suh,
E. (2002) ‘Culture, identity consistency, and subjective well-being’, Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 83, No. 6, pages
1378-1391
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